24 Jan Feeling behind in life?

Living in a VUCA world, we often find ourselves prisoners of things, people and situations. For context, VUCA is an acronym first used in 1987, to describe or reflect the volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity of general conditions and situations. The U.S. Army War College began using this term to refer to how the world was perceived after the end of the Cold War. More frequent use of this acronym began in 2002 and subsequently gained traction in emerging ideas of strategic leadership, which is how I personally encountered this term, during my master’s program in Leadership for International Relations.

By decontextualizing this term from leadership themes and applying it to our daily lives, it becomes increasingly clear how the pace of the world we live in often makes us feel behind in life. Now let’s analyze the acronym VUCA: the term volatility is intended to summarize the fact that the world is constantly changing and becoming more unstable every day; changes, large or small, are becoming more unpredictable, rapid, and dramatic. Consequently, uncertainty creeps in, as it becomes more difficult to anticipate events or predict their evolution; past experiences increasingly lose relevance and influence on individual behavior. You’ve probably heard something like, “Here we go again, they’re making the same mistakes, history repeats itself, etc.” This is also because in an uncertain world, we want to stay one step ahead; we don’t want to be shaken, which is ironic because we also don’t want to be stuck in the past. Furthermore, complexity highlights the fact that we live in a very complex world; Our problems and their repercussions are often multilayered, sometimes making it impossible to choose a single correct path. Now here it is, in all its brilliance, ambiguity. Our modern society is profoundly ambiguous, and making decisions in such a time and place requires awareness, courage, and inevitably the willingness to make mistakes.

On this contextual information, I want to share my perspective, which is that you can’t be behind in life and I believe that once you understand and accept it, you’ll be able to free yourself from this mentality. Here are my three steps on why you can’t be behind in life: 

a. We’re all different, yes, fundamentally, but aren’t we? Aren’t we all different? I mean, there will always be something that sets you apart from others: your educational background, your family history, your childhood, your life choices, your goals, your ideas, and we could go on; So, I think it’s important to stop comparing ourselves to others, because imitation kills individuality, it kills the light within you, and by the time you realize it, you’re an empty can.

b. We have different timescales; think of time as a social construct that somehow “manipulates” our lives, career choices, personal decisions, and ambitions. Will I be able to make it, be married, independent or settled down by a certain age? And more often than not, we base our lives on other people’s timing, thinking that if someone has accomplished something at a certain age, we too must do the same, otherwise we’re behind in life. If you don’t get married by thirty, you’re too late. If you’re still living with your parents after a certain age, you’re a failure. If you don’t have a secure job at this age and aren’t financially independent, you’re sleeping on life. But what we forget is that we must make the most of every moment of our lives; you’ll rise when it’s your time to rise, which doesn’t mean you have to sit on your couch waiting for life to deliver you the magic cake or formula; work hard, commit to your goals and when your time comes, you’ll be unstoppable.

c. Let’s redefine what success is and stop generalizing it. I myself find it difficult not to generalize success and compare my life to that of others, who somehow always seem more successful and brilliant. In a society where success is primarily defined by money, career, and material possessions, it’s important to learn to know ourselves and stop trying to achieve success through other people’s criteria. The path that led someone else to success isn’t necessarily the same for you or me, so I believe we can learn from others and use their stories as motivation to create our own successful lives.

I’m personally also struggling with these three steps of redefining myself and my timeline; I often find myself thinking, “I have to do this by this age or that time, otherwise I’m late,” so this is a little encouragement for anyone who feels behind in life: there’s no such thing, just work hard every day and every step of the way, and you’ll reach your destination when your time comes and trust me, it will come.